What makes you my friend?

My grandmother was the kind of person that welcomed everyone in as a family member. If you had ever been introduced to my grandma then you know that you can come back to any family function or stop in whenever you like to talk to her. My mother is welcoming when it comes to helping people, but she is the type that keeps people at arm’s length. She listens to their conversation and most times she trusts them until they slip up and say something that’s untrustworthy. Then theres me! I generally trust everyone whether stranger or not. I could consider myself too trusting, but it’s much more fun to lead my life unguarded. When you don’t trust people there’s always this thought of what harm they can cause. Since I’ve started Seven City I have met lots of people. I’ve met cool people, straight people, gay people, transsexual people, negative people, depressed people, mean people, rude people, selfish people, nice people, caring people, etc. You get the point! I’ve come into contact with lots of people. However, I have always been my cool, down-to-earth, talkative, tactless, intuitive, debating, questioning, unapologetically open self.

The part of me that people meet is usually the talkative intuitive down-to-earth side. Because of this I guess it is assumed that if we ever get into a disagreement I will handle them differently from other people. The truth is in my world right is right and wrong is wrong. If I’m wrong I want a friend to give it to me straight like “shelly that was some bullshit” then explain why. Reason being this is what I do. It has come to my attention lately that the people I have been spending the most time with are not necessarily my friends. It’s like Drake said “it’s way too many people here right now that I didn’t know last year, who the f**** are yall?” As time moves forward people show you who they really are. Everybody is cool until we disagree then my tactless debating questioning side comes into play and people get confused. As I get older I become more tactful and less apt to debate. I am pretty sure I will be talkative forever! As I get older I realize that I am real cool with myself and I am willing to lose friends for this purpose.

In reality, if we were friends at all you would know the cool down-to-earth Shelly is the same as the talkative debating tactless Shelly. You would know that I care about you no matter what you do. You would know that I give my all to those around me just because I think it’s the right thing to do. I am also realizing that sometimes I need to ask the question “What makes you my friend?” This is not the sandbox on the elementary school playground where making friends means we are in the same class and we play together. I reserve the right to my own sandbox and my own class of people I want to associate with. If you don’t like my sandbox then don’t play with me. My friends of 10 years or better are probably the most real relationships I have. These relationships are not affected by time, disagreements, and fickle misunderstandings. To be a friend is a lifelong thing. I have to be more careful about who I call a “friend.”

Pura Vida,

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2 thoughts on “What makes you my friend?

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  1. You speak the simple truth Shelly. I’m quite alright trusting everyone until I’m given reason not to. It takes WAY more energy to be suspicious than to just take them at face value. Soon enough people show you their true selves. When I find out people aren’t who I thought they were I don’t get mad I simply say, “It was good while it lasted.” Fact is I may know more about you now but we did have some good times, so I chose to focus on the memories we had together. Can’t get rid of those anyway.

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