Last week my publisher informed me that I have sold over 160 books this quarter. My first thought was YAY!!! *fist pump jump*. 10seconds later after coming down from that high I started thinking, “but wait, I hate that frickin book.” Let me explain. I wrote the book about 5-6 years ago as a method of therapy for dealing with THE relationship that totally crushed my heart. It is the only situation in which I have been really CRUSHED. The story in the book is not a true story yet it is inspired by true events. I have not gone back to read this book since I published it. I have not wanted to read this book at all. I don’t mention this book on stage during performances nor in conversation. Most people don’t even know I have a novel published. I was totally surprised when the publisher let me know they are selling all of a sudden.
I have grown so much as a writer that this first novel does not represent who I am as an author at all. How do I address this without reading the book? I can’t! If I am going to revise this book I will have to read it. I will have to suffer through this story once more. However, I can’t discount those who the story helps. I’ve been contacted by several women who love the book. Each time I get a compliment on it I grit my teeth, smile, and say thank you. Simply because when I look at the first page of the book I go “Lord have mercy what was I thinking.” Last night I went into self-reflection mode. Saturday I turned 31 years old. I quit my job in June of last year because I wanted to focus on being a writer. I am a writer of many things songs, novels, poems, movie scripts, etc. Part of getting the writing done is getting the writing done. Bottom line is if this is what I want to do why aren’t I doing it.
I want to send a special thank you to those who have purchased my book and believe in me as an artist. Please don’t judge me if you felt that the writing was less than awesome. I have decided to revise the book and the cover for a second publishing! Stay tuned because “All Women are Stupid Sometimes” is getting updated as we speak.
Thank you for reading!
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