I have determined that BLAH is an acronym for “Beyond Lost And Hopeless.” This feeling can sneak up on you at any minute. It arises from the depths of confusion, fatigue, and sex deprivation. In 2012, I predict that people of all shapes, colors, sizes and ages will be affected by this momentary feeling of “WHAT THE F***!” B.L.A.H. is a moment not to be confused with sadness or loneliness. This moment usually passes within a day. If symptoms persist past 3 days try a glass of wine and/or other method of psychological escape. If this does not help consult a doctor of your choice immediately. Doctors include, but are not limited to a gynecologist, physical therapist, oncologist, orthodontist, psychiatrist and any other word ending in “ist” that works for you.
Moments you may feel B.L.A.H.:
When you’re bored
When you lose a job
When you feel stupid
When you look stupid
When you act stupid
During emo movie moments
When you end a relationship
When you want to be in love
When you’re on your cycle (men)
When you’re on your cycle (women)
When you conclude you’re not in love
When you realize you don’t know your purpose
When you feel like the word purpose is stupid
When you feel like you’re not serving any purpose
When you’re hungry and unable to get to food
When you feel like you’re having a bad day/week/month/year
When you spend your last few dollars on some form of transportation
When you realize you’re an hour into the dumbest conversation you’ve ever had
When you misspell words in an important message to friends, family, or co-workers
When you realize you’re pregnant and your religion has convinced you that you are pro-life
When you call on your significant other and find that they are not as significant as you thought.
The B.L.A.H. moment will walk up and pound you over the head if you don’t keep some G.O.O.D. in your life. G.O.O.D. stands for “Gracious Overly Optimistic Deeds.” Stay tuned for the blog on G.O.O.D.
Thank you for reading! Don’t be B.L.A.H. follow this blog!