fingers glide over keyboard like tires over rumble strips
anxiety humming birds tummy muscles
a beautiful growl for peace
at least while I’m awake
unsure of the intimacy sleep will bring
I obsess over sexuality
straight never wins
neither does gay
Kinsey scale weighs me imperfect
Intimacy with the sandman only sparks unanswered dreams
I don’t want to fall asleep in a hopeless place
being bisexual feels much like being awake
Let’s not call it insomnia
Such words corner indecisiveness as sickness
I’ll have my emotion and eat it too
wait for my needs to cool
Sip OCD with mint leaves and chai tea
text my California masculine fever
then kiss the forehead of femininity
I am smiling in two different time zones
her sheets call me like intuition
his “I love you’s” coddle my ego
We are paradise in a hand basket
the sun slays the night
life focuses in on reality.
I can’t sleep off these desire
so why slumber?
choosing would be resting my case
I’m not ready to lay my head on either pillow.
I don’t really have to decide today do I?